Mend jokes

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.

My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

My doctor gave me 1 year. So I shot him.

The judge gave me fifteen. Problem solved!

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.