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Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

A newspaper clipping with the headline "Nude Brit covered in poo fell from hotel balcony into café", followed by a news article describing a naked British tourist who fell through a café ceiling from his hotel balcony in Thailand.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

rapboat

Sending this post to someone? It looks
better when you share it.
MacMiller
I wrote @ScHoolBoyQ album. I
can't keep it a secret anymore. I
wrote all the hooks and bridges.
3/18/14, 8:09 PM
6,340 RETWEETS 6,815 FAVORITES
ScHoolboy Q
@SchoolBoyQ
@MacMiller so your admitting u
use da N WORD???
3/18/14, 8:37 PM
+0
Share
He had the pass anyway. In inertia I swear he say
"all you niggas old news" hence the bleep. As
well In Shut the front door he says "I'm clearly a
Wigger" Yes that's right, with the hard R! I agree tho
man, Mac really was that (N)Wigga 8real.
173
9 Comments
13
[deleted] 14h
Pretty sure the bleep in inertia is Ariana or my ex or
my old bitch something like that but in reference to
her
Reply +8
MaclsLife OP 4h
Shit you may be right, but i like the idea of him
saying the N Word!!
-25

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel image using screenshots from Star Wars. In the first panel an editor states that the plural of 'dwarf' is 'dwarfs' not 'dwarves'. The second panel shows Tolkien asking 'Are you threatening me?' The third panel shows the editor declaring 'The Dictionary will decide your fate.' Finally, the fourth panel shows Tolkien stating 'I wrote the Dictionary.'

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video with the title "5 Lil Pump songs playing at once", a comment below says "this is what albert einstein listened to before he wrote the bible".