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Time

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Ball

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Bag

✨Jassy✨ · 1 year ago

My big back moment

A woman with long hair and large hoop earrings is looking upwards with an open mouth. The text above her reads "when you finish your french fries but you find extra ones at the bottom of the bag".

Year

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Me when I see unattended 12 year olds...

A white sheep is standing in a boat, which is placed into a hole in a Minecraft game. The sheep is facing a block that is connected to a piston.

Priest

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A picture shows a priest on the left and Woody from Toy Story on the right. The text on the image asks, "What's the difference between a priest and Woody?" The punchline is below: "Woody goes limp when a child enters the room!"

Credit

Anonymous · 1 year ago

When a Marvel movie reaches the credits.

A man is singing into a microphone. The caption below says, "But baby, baby somethin's tellin' me this ain't over yet."

People

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A picture shows Leonardo DiCaprio looking distressed while holding a glass of wine. Above his head, it reads: "WHEN PEOPLE SAY" and below the picture, it reads: "THEY WILL KEEP THEIR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS"

Dinosaur

The Banana Guy · 1 year ago

A white cat with black spots is in focus, staring at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: "ARE YOU A HUMAN?" LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO"

Question

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A baby with a mischievous grin sits in a field, hands clasped together. Text overlay reads: "When you yell 'GREEN' during a Kahoot question knowing that the answer is actually blue."

Age

Anonymous · 1 year ago

When you find out she was 13 not 30.

Two men in suits are in an image. One man leans in and whispers in the other man's ear. The other man looks surprised. There are children in front of them, as if they are giving a presentation to children.

Private

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Sadly

The image contrasts a waterfall with a milk jug. The text above reads, "Ejaculating in private vs. when I have a girl over."

American

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A group of people are sitting at a table and look shocked while a man is standing on the table with his arms wide open. A speech bubble says: "I'm Bruis Best". The text above says: Pov: what Americans see when Scots pull up to the soft drink convention.

Rule

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, two figures are depicted. One on the left with a turban states three rules: "no wishing for death", "no falling in love", and "no bring back dead people." In the second panel, the same turbaned figure states, "There are 4 rules" while the other figure says, "I want my rifle to moan when I load a new mag."

Name

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A person is covering their face with their hands. The text says "When he has a L in his name" and below the person is "Rio De Janeiro".

Job

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a man with a red beanie pointing with a grin on his face. The text above reads "When I'm offered currency in exchange for my labour:" The text below the image says, "Now this looks like a job."

Video Game

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image of an older man in military attire, sitting next to a younger person playing video games. The text reads, "When I was your age, I defeated the Nazis in Holland. On Xbox or Playstation?" The second part of the image shows both of them again, and the text reads, "PC you fat retard."

Voice

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a close-up of a character from the Mortal Kombat video game with its skin torn off. The text on the image reads "When the voices bet me a cigar that I can't tear my skin off." Below the image is the text "THESCHIZOPHRENIC WINS", followed by "FLAWLESS VICTORY."

People

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows three portraits of Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, and Isaac Newton under the text "People whom are normally thought to be the smartest in the world." Below, there is an image of a silhouette of a person's head with a question mark in place of a face, followed by the text: "The actual smartest person in the world: The guy that made toilet paper turn red when you've finished wiping."

Bed

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Anakin Skywalker looks upset, with the text: "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

Reflection

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A still from a movie or TV show with a puppet with white hair and big eyes. Above the image is text that says: "When the Netflix asks if you're 'still watching' and you see your reflection in the black screen."

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