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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
  • 1
  • trixiedixie🥰
    1 year ago
    Three animated figures with dark hair and wearing matching dark jackets stand in front of a light gray background. The text above them reads, "Introverts when they finally go outside". Below them are two speech bubbles with the text, "Oh!" and "It's soil!"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a two-panel meme. The first panel shows a man working on a waterbed with the text "LIFE HACK: If you fuck a corpse on a waterbed, it feels like they are participating. You're welcome." The second panel shows a close-up of Gordon Ramsay looking disgusted.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A black and white drawing of a man with glasses and a slightly open mouth with a speech bubble. The text above the image states: "Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the 'G's. I heard thats where they get the 'G's for cell phone service."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A close-up photo of a deodorant can with the text "WHAT THE HELL" above the can and "WERE THEY THINKING" below the instruction. The instruction says "SHAKE WELL" and there is an illustration of a hand shaking a can. There is also a "Deodorant directions" label.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A snowflake image on a dark blue background with the text: "Friends are like snowflakes. When you pee on them, they disappear."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows two panels. The top panel displays a line graph with the title "Use over time for: bruh" and shows how the usage of the word "bruh" has changed over time from 1800 to 2010, peaking around 1850 and 2010. The bottom panel shows a painting of soldiers from 1847. One soldier on a horse says "Sir they breached our defenses" and another replies "Bruh".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows the text "When someone reposts a meme so bad that you can literally see the account they reposted it from at the top." Below, there's a close-up of Kermit the Frog looking upward with a slightly annoyed or exasperated expression.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    An image of a dinosaur with the text "When you grow up, people stop asking you what your favorite dinosaur is. They don't even care."
  • 0
  • αmy
    1 year ago

    those apple headphone warnings do NOTHING

    A cartoon image of a character with a wide, slightly unnerved smile, looking upward. The text at the top reads: "Me after saying 'what' for the 3rd time & still not hearing what they said." At the bottom right corner, the source is stated: boredpanda.com
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image shows three panels. The top panel shows three aliens with the text "Do you think humans have caught up to us yet?" on the left and "I don't know, let's take a look at their social media" on the right. The middle panel is a distorted image of a frog with a red glow and the text "When it's soup time". The bottom panel shows the same three aliens, with the text "It turns out, they have surpassed us".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    An image of a muscular saber-toothed cat saying: "Go ahead, call the cops. They cannot unshit your grandma's cremation urn."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A screengrab of a show titled "PAW Patrol" with a description that reads: "Watch Season 3 Now. First they got the coke. Then they got the money. Now the Colombian cartels want the power. Let the drug wars begin."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    A three-panel image showing a conversation between two people. In the first panel, Captain America says, "French fries aren't cooked in France." The second panel shows another person asking, "Where are they cooked?" and Captain America in the third panel replies, "In Greece", resulting in him getting choked by the second person.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    2 years ago
    The image is a screenshot from a video with two people in the foreground, peeking out of a hole in the ground. Behind them are a dog, a person with a camouflage outfit, and a pig also wearing a camouflage outfit. The text on the image says "They found the meth!"
  • 0
  • αmy
    2 years ago

    charmin bear pearly harbor?

    The image shows a phone screen displaying a video and underneath comments. The text on top reads, "and the bear is like:". The comments mention, "in one of the commercials they show a bear TSA which implies that there was a Charmin bear 9/11." Another comment says, "Ain't no way" and a final comment asks "was there also a Charmin bear Hitler?"
  • 2
  • Wade
    2 years ago

    Based Shadow

    The image shows a tweet by user amyroses saying "don't break peoples hearts! they only have one :(". Below that, user shadow replied saying "yeah break their bones, they have 206."
  • 7
  • Wade
    2 years ago
    The image shows a conversation in a game of Among Us where a blue character accuses a red character of being sus for taking too long to reply. A red character then replies, "Still faster than your crush's reply." Below the chat are four stone figures with shocked facial expressions.
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