Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image contains text from a tweet by Alice Smith that says: "Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Elect a man to fish for you, and all of a sudden fishing becomes some mystical function that only a few elite in society can perform, at great expense to the rest of it."

Heroin Monkey

A text message conversation shows the question "What's wrong?" with the answer "Whenever Sonic beats Eggman in the final level, Eggman always outruns him and gets to his giant robot before Sonic catches him, beating Sonic's average running speed of 767.269 miles per hour which is the speed of sound. This means that Dr Eggman is actually the fastest thing alive." followed by the reply "nothing". The message is shown on a white background with a phone keyboard shown at the bottom.

Heroin Monkey

The text says: "My expired condom that has been in my wallet for years when I see a dead pig on the side of the road." The image is a dark and blurry shot through a fence.

rapboat

A screenshot of a social media post showing a picture of Drake in a speech bubble. There are also comments. The first comment asks "Why y'all do Drake like that?", the second one answers "idk tbh, but now that you commented this, I feel kinda bad ngl" and the last one says "BRUH".

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

This definitely works

The image is a drawing with four separate life tips on how to make your friends like you more. First, a person is smiling and has a feather tucked in their collar bone, it says 'do a smile to make yourself look like you are not completely dead inside' and 'hold a feather to let your friend know you are not harmful anymore and it is all in the past.' Second, the same person is wearing a lace glove, it says 'wear a single lace glove to show that you have a delicate touch.' Third, it says 'why not wear an outfit that really shows off your figure'. Fourth, a blonde person is holding a leash attached to a dog. It says 'borrow a dog or a child of your choice so people will want to talk to you more'.

Wade

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

DaRey1Cray

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

A product image of a green figure attached to a toothpaste tube and covering the opening. The text on the image reads: 'Toothpaste Cap Kids Toothpaste Attachment. Visit the Handmade Store. 4.0 stars. 15 ratings. Best Price on Amazon. -30% $8.99. List Price: $12.90. FREE Returns. A fun toothpaste cover that will make kids love brushing teeth. Produced in a 3D printer with organic PLA material that can be degraded in nature. It is placed on the cap of the toothpaste tube instead of the toothpaste cap. (Not compatible with non-standard pastes) It is not a hazardous material (toy). Do not wash in hot water or in the machine. The toothpaste tube product in the product is for promotional purposes. You can contact us for color preferences.'

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Heroin Monkey

this convo is crazy

Jake " 3 hours ago
Yes I saw Madi's tits and pussy
amy 3 hours ago
thats cray
Jake " 3 hours ago
amy "
wow jake prolly jerks off to pics of madi
You don't know that
Donut Drawzz 3 hours ago
BUDDY
leo
3 hours ago
Jake "
Yes I saw Madi's tits and pussy
i've seen her face
Donut Drawzz 3 hours ago
U ONLY SAW TITS
Im With Stupid 3 hours ago
wtf....
Donut Drawzz 3 hours ago
CAUSE OF CLEVAGE
amy " 3 hours ago
Jake "

rapboat

Chat is this real??

A tweet by Carti Fans with the handle @NeonCarti that says 'Playboi Carti predicted Covid-19'. The tweet includes a screenshot of text that reads 'In 2020 a flu-like disease that began in Wuhan, China (yuh) will cause a worldwide pandemic and shut down all major events for months (slatt) and cause major economic collapse (buh buh buh)'. Below it says 'PLAYBOI CARTI, "FOREIGN" GENIUS'. The picture features Playboi Carti with a peace sign.

Blach666

A text message conversation where the first person mentions seeing their uncle's lambs, then reveals that the uncle has 370 pregnant sheep, and finally asks if the recipient wants to know who the father is.

shaylie lol

Two women, one on the left covering her face and laughing, and one on the right laughing at her phone. Text above the women reads: "that mood when you and your bestie are laughing at the most stupid things for no reason."

Heroin Monkey

Me walking down to the
family dinner pretending
that I didn't just yell
racial slurs to a 10yo
over a game:
*GO DOWNSTAIRS TO KITCHEN
@sigma_gorilla

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels. The first shows a cartoon character on fire running towards a strange, cyclops-like character. The text says, "Stop normalising the grind and normalise whatever the f*ck this is." The second panel shows another cartoon character with the text "millions who took the pill that works both ways must die."

Heroin Monkey

Are you out of mind!
Why do you carry those bricks!
Now is bedtime!
I'm tryna get like you
mama I mean you got
them airbag titties
like hubba hubba
honk honk type shitt
wanna know what it
feels like to carry
around all that
weight you been
carrying around all
your life I mean at
least since you was 14
not that I would've
been into it at that
age I'm just sayin like
you got them
bazooka bubble
breast and I'm tryna
chew on that
experience got me
bricked up fr fr

shaylie lol

A person with messy hair is lying in bed looking confused. The text on the image says: You ever take a nap so good that you thought you missed the school bus. But it's Sunday...and you're 32.

shaylie lol

A meme showing two images of a young boy with a confused look, next to the text "how tf that little voice in my head know all of the lyrics when I don't..."

shaylie lol

A close-up of a green buttock with two bones sticking out of it. The text on top reads, "You ever sit for so long that your butt feels like this."

Geiger

The image shows Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson with a slightly distorted neck and very large muscles. Above him is written: "WHEN YOU FORGET THAT CAPS LOCK IS ON AND YOU PRESS SHIFT TO CAPITALIZE A LETTER."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a Google ban message stating "You have been banned from Google" and that access may be restored on June 26, 2033. Below is a blurry close-up of a man's face looking surprised or shocked.

Heroin Monkey

A person looks out of a window. The text above the image says: How I wake up knowing that I've got 0 political beliefs and just say things to annoy people.

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