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Shit memes

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A Capri Sun drink pouch with the text "Damn this shit kinda hydrating." "I NEED her bouncing and moaning on it." and "The Federal Government must fall."

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

lol is sucks

A red background with two red hearts. On top, it says: FUCK SHIT THE HOLIDAY. On the bottom it says: VALENTINES.

The image displays a text that says "Boomer ladies: Hahah minion memes. Millennial girls: oh no, Donald Trump racist. 14 y.o girls:". Below there is an image of a girl with superimposed text that reads "SHE SHITS HERSELF".

The image shows a definition of "dirty chewbacca" and below a cartoon of Skeletor, saying, "Even I'm not into that shit." The text above says: "When a girl is deepthroating you, you pinch her nipples right as you cum. Her scream paired with the warm liquid and dick in her throat will produce a sound similar to chewbacca's growl."

The image shows a text written on a wall or stall. The text reads: "I once took a shit in this stall, so thick and so firm it stood tall, it balanced on end that shit did not bend but fell over and scraped my left ball."

YAYYYY

The image shows a list of quotes from different people arguing about whose idol is stronger, starting with "My Idol likely could beat urs in a fight", which leads to a discussion on if Godzilla or Jesus would win.

The image shows a series of three tweets from Donald J. Trump's Twitter account @realDonaldTrump. The first tweet says, 'loli tentacle hentai.' The second is a reply to the first tweet and reads, 'shit this isn't google.' The third tweet, also a reply, says, 'if any of you fucks screenshot this imma nuke a 3rd world country.'

A young person is sitting on a bench, looking at their phone. Below the image is text that asks "IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT their diarrhea?" followed by a list of funny definitions for common texting abbreviations. For example, "brb = bathroom bonanza", "lol = lots of liquid", and "smh = so many hemorrhoids".

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Hmmm

A sign on a window says "CLOSE BECAUSE SOMEONE SHIT ON THE FLOOR" with a sad face drawn below it.

The image shows Elmo, the red muppet character, on the left with a happy expression and his arms out. To the right of Elmo is a pile of red, worm-like objects. The text above says, "Elmo" and "just took shit".

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

A four-panel comic strip. Panel 1 shows a priest in a church saying, "LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF" to a congregation, including a blonde woman. Panel 2 shows the blonde woman outside saying, "HELLO NEIGHBOR" to a man getting out of his car. Panel 3 shows the man responding, "YOU FUCKING MORON". Panel 4 shows the man continuing, "YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HUMAN SHIT". The text below indicates the source: "BY EXTRA FABULOUS COMICS FOR Cyanide and Happiness © Explosm.net."

Lmao another example of Amy being a petty little bitch

A screenshot of comments on a video titled "CODM Gunslinger Part 1: Ultimate Terminator". One highlighted comment from amyrulesthepizzaaa says "ABSOLUTE ASS" with fire emojis. Another comment from VancityMerc319 says, "Dang that turned out really blurry, sorry guys, dunno what happened it was fine before..." The final comment from beckwild343 says "you have a hidden talent but PLEASE keep that shit hidden" with fire and 100 emojis.

dont do that shit to ur gf, im tryna give u a warning

A man labeled "BF" is pouring gasoline from a red container onto a bonfire labeled "Angry GF" with the text bubble "Relax, babe." above him.

Shits about to go down

The image shows Batman standing in the rain with a large light projecting the bat signal. The text says "You know, shit's about to get real when Batman calls for Batman."

Definitely not high

A screenshot of a Facebook post by Soa Tendo saying, "Im high asf". Jazmine Rogers and two others reacted to the post. Soa Tendo commented, "Me too", followed by "Lol oh shit that me".

Neighbor

The image is a four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a priest at a pulpit says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." In the second panel, a woman waves at a man from her car and says, "Hello neighbor." In the third panel, the woman yells, "You fucking moron." at the man. In the fourth panel, the man yells at the woman, "You worthless piece of human shit."

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