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Thoughtless
1 year ago

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.
  • 5
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A black and white drawing of a man with glasses and a slightly open mouth with a speech bubble. The text above the image states: "Oat milk is made by milking goats and then putting the milk through a fine filter to extract all the 'G's. I heard thats where they get the 'G's for cell phone service."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A comic strip shows a character getting annoyed by the incorrect use of "its" on the internet. He corrects the error and congratulates himself for "fixing" the world.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A drawing of a rifle with a pink bow and skirt, it is blushing, with a magazine next to it. The text says "Oh master, you took my m-magazine out. What are you going to p-put in there...?"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A white toaster with anime-style eyes and mouth drawn on it. Above the drawing, the text 'P-put it in me senpai...' is written.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    An image of a painting depicting Jesus and Satan. Satan is whispering "Put the alphabet into math" into Jesus's ear. The text above the image says "And then Satan said:".
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a four-panel comic. The first panel depicts a box with arrows pointing outwards and the text "Pressurized gas pushes its container". The second panel shows a figure with a trollface boiling water. The third panel shows a figure with a trollface putting steam into a piston. The fourth panel shows a steam train with a trollface on it and the text "Start industrial revolution".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A black gun, possibly a shotgun, is lying on a patterned cloth. Next to it is a magazine with two orange shotgun shells in it. The text on the image says: "You see Ivan, For extra power put shotgun shells in Kalashnikov."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?"  The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"
  • 0
  • Wade
    1 year ago
    The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"
  • 1
  • Goku is dum
    1 year ago

    What the hell

    A photo of a person named Calvin, is presented as a Pokemon trading card. The card's text says "Giga Chad. If this Pokemon is knocked out, put 100 damage counters on the Pokemon that knocked you out. Mega giga chad."
  • 0
  • NIFFTY
    1 year ago

    tru tho

    The image shows a text saying "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer*" followed by "A cut I never knew existed:". Below the text is an image of Elmo from Sesame Street engulfed in flames with a distressed facial expression.
  • 0
  • Wade
    2 years ago
    An old painting shows two figures. One is a light-skinned man with long, dark hair and a beard, who is looking down. The other is a red-skinned, horned demon whispering something into the first man's ear. Above them, the text says, "And then Satan said:" and next to the demon's face, the text says "Put the alphabet into math."
  • 4
  • Wade
    2 years ago

    Maid Outfit

    A comic panel with a character wearing a white outfit with a hood asking "YOU GONNA KILL ME, ZODIAC?" A figure in a black mask replies "KILL YOU?? HOW WOULD YOU PUT ON THE MAID OUTFIT IF I KILLED YOU?" The white character replies, "I'VE DIED BEFORE, AND... WAIT, THE WHAT?!" The masked character says "ON SECOND THOUGHT, IT MIGHT BE EASIER THAT WAY. GOOD CALL!"
  • 0
  • Galokin
    2 years ago
    The image shows two frames of a cartoon man standing next to a display stand with a velvet rope barrier. In the first frame, the man is smiling and gesturing towards the display stand with the caption "This is where I put my jokes". In the second frame, the man is frowning and looking frustrated with the caption "if I could think about new ones".
  • 0
  • Toast ツ
    2 years ago
    The image is a sign from Rocky Hill High School with the school's paw print logo at the top. The text explains that students have been using the school's WiFi to access beastiality websites, that the school loves their mascot but "not in that way", and warns that 32% of students have accessed this kind of content. Searches for "Judy Hops" and "Animal Crossing" will now be blocked. It ends with a warning that students will meet with counselors and parents if this content is found on their Chromebook.
  • 5
  • The german guy
    2 years ago

    Haven´t posted in a few months. I will keep posting memes together with @#StayatHome every day :)

    The image shows a search result saying "Oxygen was discovered about 1772" and then shows a picture of a patient with an oxygen mask, labeled "Hospitals in 1771". Next to the patient is a bag of Lay's Classic chips.
  • 7
  • E
    EnochTyr
    2 years ago

    What happend for them to put this sign up?

    A black and white image of a sign with the text "PLEASE DON'T SUMMON DEMONS IN THE BATHROOM" in a decorative font, with a pentagram at the top and a small bathtub illustration at the bottom.
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