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MORE DAD JOKES

DAD JOKE

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

And Angel says I’m SUS..

A screenshot of a conversation. The first image shows a figure with dark skin and hair being kissed by a symbiote. The second image shows two anime characters, one with pink hair and one with purple, kissing. The text in the conversation includes statements like "Yes then some person named Chex wanted a pic of my neck and hand," "Oh shit that's kinda hot ngl," "_?," and "Hella hot."

Sus???

A message thread between two users. The first user says, "I was literally about to say don't ask where I got the money from". The second user replies, "Guys Wade has a OnlyFans thats why he's rich. I swear to f***ing God."

When strict parents👍

The text on the image reads: "Jas: or shows a pic of my dead bf bc my dad snapped his neck."

A man with a shocked expression and hands on his head is shown below text that states that anyone can use the n-word if the goal is equality.

The image shows a comparison of how people asked "who are you" in different centuries. 19th century: "Who art thou", 20th century: "Who are you" and a scene from a video with two young men in it, labeled as the 21st century: "Who dat boy, who is him". The source "boredpanda.com" is visible in the lower right corner.

s͓͓̽̽c͓͓̽̽o͓͓̽̽o͓͓̽̽t͓͓̽̽e͓͓̽̽r͓̽

my fish

A deer is shown swimming in a pool. The text says, "I think my fish has autism."

TWISTED METAL

The meme shows three video game cover art. The first is Fortnite, the second is PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, and the third is Twisted Metal. Next to each game cover is a picture of a man with text above or below him. The text associated with Fortnite is "I prefer the real battle royale." The text associated with PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds is "I said the real battle royale." The text associated with Twisted Metal is "Perfection."

Y E S

A squirrel stands with its arms raised. The image says, "Study for 10 minutes. Reward self with 2 hours of internet use."

The hero we needed but didn’t deserve

A picture shows the character Spiderman lying on the floor while other people watch him. On the left, a blue character from the game Among Us is placed on the image. The text on the image says: "When you stand and die in front of camera to bait the impostor so security will know. Carefully, he's a crewmate."

Depression has a tight grip

A cartoon image of a turtle looking up with text above that says, "Suicidal people looking at the rope:" and text below the turtle that says, "My time has come".

Achungus

The image shows a character from the video game "Among Us" with rabbit ears, and is labeled "Achungus". Above the image are the words: "Teacher: Why are you laughing? Me: Nothing. My brain:".

Procrastination

An image shows Kermit the frog sitting on a white bed. Above it is written: Me: I'll do it at 8 Time: 8:05 Me: looks like I gotta wait till 9 now

Payment not needed

A dark illustration depicts a large, looming figure labeled "white guy" standing behind a kneeling figure labeled "black guy." A sword with the word "cotton" written on the blade is positioned between them.

Butt Whole

The image is split into two sections. The top shows a close-up of a meat product label that reads: "BONELESS STUFFED BUTT WHOLE." The bottom half shows cartoon characters Beavis and Butt-Head staring with disgust.

69

The image shows a three-panel meme. The top and bottom panels feature Beavis and Butt-Head, with the top panel showing them sitting and laughing with the text "[laughing]" below them, and the bottom panel showing them laughing harder with the text "[laughing harder]" below them. The middle panel shows a weather app with the temperature reading 69° F, with 71° F as the high, 42° F as the low, and the text "Sunny" and "RealFeel 73°" below it.

Facts

A two-panel image from an animated movie shows a woman saying "I'm helping him sue the human race." The second panel shows a man with a surprised and confused expression. Below this are the words: "He was honestly the only normal character in the whole movie."

Introverts

The image shows a four-panel cartoon with two characters from Beavis and Butt-head. The first panel shows them jogging with the text "Jogging sucks." The second panel shows one character looking annoyed with the text "The sun sucks." The third panel shows them walking with the text "Walking sucks." The last panel shows them sitting with the text "This town sucks."

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