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Tech

Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from David J Phillips (@davj). The text describes his financial journey over 5 years: Year 1 - $65K (1st job); Year 2 - $72K (asked for raise); Year 3 - $137K (switched jobs); Year 4 - $35.67M (lawsuit payout from Google commuter bus hitting me); Year 5 - $146K (promotion).

Generation

Sore Raven · 5 months ago

An illustration depicting a kneeling woman with a cannabis leaf tattoo on her buttock, surrounded by various objects and images that stereotype 'this generation of women.' These include a 'morals' sign with a red prohibition symbol, a 'GOALS' sign with a person throwing trash in a bin, a poster of a woman taking a provocative selfie, pictures of women on a beach, and a picture of a man in an orange prison jumpsuit on the phone. On the floor are items like a KFC bucket, a 'vegan' shopping bag, a syringe, a smartphone, makeup brushes, a laptop displaying 'KYLIE', an YSL handbag, and designer sneakers. A hand is shown dropping social media likes and hearts towards the kneeling woman. The top text reads, 'This Generation Of Women Summed Up In One Picture!!'

Pilot

~{マイロ}~ · 6 months ago

A pilot in full flight gear, including a helmet and mask, is seated inside a fighter jet cockpit. The text overlay says: "when you get a 🦴er while taking a shi so you grab it and pretend ur piloting a bomber and dropping nukes in the toilet".

Infidelity

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

this MIGHT be cosmos phone

A smartphone home screen with a galaxy background is filled with icons for apps like McDonald's, Hebrew Calendar, Hineni, Drops, Am Hazak, Jewish Prayer, NemoHebrew, Mossad baba, Israel News, Newsrael, MTAFC, Smashing Life, JVL, Revayah, Jewish Music +, Jewish Holidays, Bless Up, Trump's Empire, and American. A notification banner at the top from "MY LOVEE ❤️❤️❤️" says "She's busy rn bro 👊 😎". A large red arrow points to the notification. Overlay text reads "why does my gf text me in third person?".

Debt

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A four-panel black and white comic strip. Panel 1: A small girl stands outside a building labeled 'BANK' with a sign that says 'VISIT OUR LOAN DEPT.'. Panel 2: The girl is inside, speaking to a male banker with a mustache at a desk. She says, 'I'D LIKE TO BORROW TWO DOLLARS.' The banker asks, 'WHAT FOR?'. Panel 3: The girl replies, 'THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN.' The banker responds, 'IT IS?'. Panel 4: An adult version of the girl is lying in bed, looking distraught. An adult man stands over her with a concerned expression. In the background, above the bed, a thought bubble shows the child version of the girl and the banker happily eating ice cream at the circus, surrounded by other smiling children.

Book burning

Sore Raven · 6 months ago

A black and white photograph shows a large pile of burning books at night, with a crowd of people standing around watching. The text above the image describes the destruction of Magnus Hirschfeld's library of sexual research by Germans in Berlin 89 years ago, noting his work as an LGBT rights advocate and pioneer in sex reassignment surgeries. It concludes by stating the books contained "degenerate LGBT propaganda" and urges readers to remember which books the National Socialists burned.

Math Teacher

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A blurry image of a person with glowing eyes, surrounded by streaks of blue and purple light, as if powering up. Above the person, white text reads: "math teachers when i solve 2+2 in my head instead of using their 470 step method called the baboon foreskin factorization:".

Arrest

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

The image shows two FBI agents in blue jackets escorting a person in a suit whose upper body and head are entirely replaced by a large, upright black rectangle. The person's hands are cuffed behind their back. An inset image in the bottom left shows a document with heavy black redaction bars. The caption reads: "FBI ARRESTS BLACK RECTANGLE AFTER IT APPEARS OVER 6 MILLION TIMES IN EPSTEIN FILES".

Capybara

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

An image featuring a photo of a capybara at the top and a series of Instagram comments below. The comments mock the animal's generic appearance, comparing it to a default video game character, common loot, or a tutorial enemy. Text includes: "Imagine being a random fucking thing", "bro is an enemy in the tutorial", "bro is the default animal", "Bro is built like common loot", "Just some bullshit with fur", "Ts is a damn login reward", "His only job is existing and that's enough", and "Went to the pet store and just said 'one animal please'".

Choice

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Confession

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

Focus

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

An image of basketball star LeBron James looking extremely focused and intense, surrounded by digital flames and sparks. He is holding a basketball. Overlaid text says: "POV: when the choir hit a high note and the glass dildo breaks in my a$$ so I gotta lock in and pretend like nothing happened".

Anatomy

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A three-panel comic strip. In the top panel, Mickey Mouse opens a bathroom door where Donald Duck is behind a shower curtain, saying, "Don't get in, Mickey! I'm naked!!". In the bottom-left panel, Mickey says, "What difference does it make?, you never wear pants". In the bottom-right panel, Donald steps out of the bathtub, revealing he has human-like breasts and a small penis, and simply says, "Right".

School

Siri_the_Robot · 7 months ago

A screenshot of a VICE News article headline about school shootings. The headline states that a boy told Apple's Siri he was going to shoot up a school, and the AI provided him with a list of local schools. Below the text is an image showing an iPhone screen with icons for Calendar, Photos, Clock, App Store, and others.

Strawberry

Anonymous · 7 months ago

oh no

A four-panel comic strip featuring an anthropomorphic strawberry character named Cosmo. In the first panel, Cosmo is drinking from a cup, and the text says "cosmo has good taste in soda". In the second panel, he asks "what flavor is this?". The third panel shows the cup label with an image of a strawberry and the word "lemonade". The final panel shows Cosmo's horrified facial expression as he realizes he is consuming strawberry-flavored drink.

Kid

Anonymous · 7 months ago

real

A four-panel meme using cartoon characters. At the top, it says "*KID STARTS DROWNING IN CHOCOLATE RIVER*". The first panel is labeled "THE KID:" and shows a panicked character. The second is "THE PARENTS:" showing a character with a magnifying glass. The third is "WILLY WONKA:" showing a colorful character with a blank expression. The fourth is "THE OOMPA LOOMPAS:" showing a group of diverse cartoon characters standing in a park, ready for a musical number.

Semen

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A screenshot of two 4chan posts. The top post features a greentext story and a picture of the anime character Cirno. The text claims the author used their own semen as a skincare product overnight and it cured their acne. The bottom post features a picture of Konata Izumi and a reply stating the user is going to try it, hoping it isn't a prank.

Pipe

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A side-by-side comparison meme. The left panel shows a poorly executed, lumpy weld on a green-painted pipe with the caption 'Average weld in P*kistan', accompanied by the Pakistani flag and a vomiting emoji. The right panel shows a perfectly executed, rainbow-tinted circular weld on a metal component with the caption 'Average weld in glorious Azerbaijan', accompanied by the Azerbaijani flag and a praying hands emoji.

Fentanyl

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A crude drawing parodying the Pixar movie Inside Out. Sadness is looking worriedly at Joy in the control room, asking: "j-j-joy...? are you sure popping fent in a nasty club bathroom is gonna make Riley happy..?" Joy, looking wide-eyed and aggressive, yells back: "SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID BLUE BITCH RILEY CAN QUIT WHENEVER SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!" while pressing buttons on the console. Disgust is seen in the background looking horrified.

Misdirection

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A photograph of an Xbox dashboard showing a friends list. A red circle and arrow highlight a user named Jxyhuh Juan Yrueys playing Fortnite. Text at the bottom reads 'playing fort in the big 25' with a wilted rose emoji. Directly above the circled user is another friend whose status says they are playing 'Call of Booty Black Cocks 2', a vulgar parody of Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.

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