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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
When the FBI kicks down your door
while you beating your meat to the 500
terabytes of polygender midget furry
austismic monkey porn that you stole
+Kaylie D
My time has come
  • 0
  • Thoughtless
    1 year ago

    Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

    A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.
  • 5
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a thermostat displaying an error message that reads "Account Terminated. Your behaviour has violated the OJ Family Code of Conduct. Reason: Leaking United States classified documents. This thermostat has been locked." The time on the screen is "Fri 1:30 PM" and the temperature is "-964°C". The text "they done banned me from the thermostat" is overlayed at the bottom.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The meme shows three different people. The first panel shows J.K. Rowling, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The second panel shows George R.R. Martin, with the text "Has a good idea and writes a book". The third panel shows J.R.R. Tolkien, with the text "Creates a language, feels like it needs a story and writes a book".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a Change.org petition page with the title "Make Shrek the National Bird". The page shows a picture of Shrek with a U.S. flag background. The petition has 161,843 signatures out of a goal of 200,000, and it was started April 28, 2017 and addressed to President Donald J. Trump and 2 others.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a screenshot of a 4chan post with green text on a black background. It depicts a dystopian scenario in a future where Hillary Clinton has become a supreme ruler and implemented a series of drastic measures.
  • 0
  • Wade
    1 year ago
    A Pokemon card featuring a plush shark toy labeled "May" as a basic Pokemon with 30 HP. The card includes attacks named "Suicidal Karen" and "Victimize," and the text reads, "If you come across this Pokémon in the wild, RUN. Run away immediately, kill it if you can, but fuckin RUN."
  • 11
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a two panel meme. The top panel shows a screenshot from a game show, where a male contestant is looking at the camera, a lifeline bar chart appears on the screen above a question with four answers. The question reads: "Equal to roughly 746 watts, what animal-based unit is used to measure the rate at which work is done?" The four answers are: "A: Horsepower", "B: Donkeystrength", "C: Llamathrust", and "D: Zebraforce". The bottom panel shows a man in a suit slapping the roof of a car while speaking to another man. The caption below the car states, "This baby has the thrust of 340 llamas under the hood".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows text in white font on a grey background. It reads: "If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate, she: A. Has intimacy issues. B. Is frigid. C. Needs to sit somewhere else on the bus."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    An older man with glasses stands in front of a cliff and the ocean. The text below the image reads: "An Australian man living by a cliff has prevented around 160 suicides in his 50 years of living there, by shooting them himself."
  • 0
  • Big Stinkin' James
    1 year ago
    A photograph of a clothing rack at a store with the text: "Clearance $7" on a yellow sign. The shirt on the right displays a digital art image of a monkey wearing a military cap.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows two pictures. The first picture shows a train on a bridge in a mountainous area. There is text below it stating, "Switzerland's military has remained neutral since 1815, but the entire country is rigged to explode. Thousands of demolition points are wired into bridges, highways, and railroads across the nation so that everything can be destroyed if invaders attack". The second picture shows a man holding a belt with a worried expression. The text below the man states, "WHO'S THERE? I HAVE A BELT AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO HANG MYSELF".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The comic depicts a person with a piece of tape across their waist. In the second panel the person is next to a group of bananas, with one banana asking "Has modern art gone too far?"
  • 0
  • Chunke Monke
    1 year ago

    it all makes sense now 😮😮😮

    The image has the title "Cooties" followed by a definition. "Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as 'STDs.'" It then gives two examples: "Age 8: 'Ewww... She has cooties, I can't talk to her!'" and "Age 15: 'Ewww... She has herpes, I can't sleep with her!'"
  • 1
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    YAYYYY

    The image shows a list of quotes from different people arguing about whose idol is stronger, starting with "My Idol likely could beat urs in a fight", which leads to a discussion on if Godzilla or Jesus would win.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is split into two parts. The upper part shows a man explaining something with a frantic expression, standing in front of a wall covered with papers connected with red threads. The text says, "Me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster cause it has two horsepower". The bottom part shows a seal with a bored and unimpressed look. The text says, "My physics teacher."
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a tweet from user @blockeveryacct that reads "maryland has fallen" above a screenshot of a public safety alert for Thanksgiving. The alert urges people to wear a mask, social distance, get tested and remember Maryland.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, Timmy stands on the left, saying "I wish everyone has taste buds in their anus". In the second panel, Cosmo is on the right with a shocked expression saying, "Jimmy what the fuck"
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a table with a list of planets and corresponding numbers of deaths and a yes/no answer if a planet has birds. The Earth is the only planet with deaths and birds. The text on the top says: "wake up, sheeple."
  • 0
  • Wade
    1 year ago
    A news headline reads: "The Ohio Butthole Tickling Bandit Has Escaped Custody and Being Hunted By Police." Below the headline are two images: one shows police cars with flashing lights and the other shows the mugshot of the supposed bandit with wide eyes.
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