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Cat

Shitpost-master general

A close-up of a brown tabby cat with a slightly annoyed expression, accompanied by the text "can i get uhhhhhh..."

Dick

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Job

The image shows a job posting with the title 'Head Receiver'. Below it states 'Typically responds within 4', followed by a salary of '$18-$25 an hour', and an 'Easily apply' button.

Cybertruck

A meme featuring two muscular arms of different skin colors (one brown, one white) clasped together. Text above the arms reads "Cybertruck owners can't get them wet." Text below the arms identifies the arm on the left as "their car" and the arm on the right as "women."

Money

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

Chair

A person's face is shown, they appear to have just woken up and are looking straight at the camera, the text says "me getting up in the middle of the night to stare at my chair with clothes on it because it looks like a person".

Rating

A person wearing a white cowboy hat and sunglasses is looking down. Text overlaid on the image says, "getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based off mouth feel".

Video Game

THE ANIMATRONICS BE LIKE WHEN YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMP SCARED

The image shows a red, fox-like animatronic figure with a hook for a hand, standing against a black background. It has a wide open mouth, showing its teeth. It looks like Foxy from the video game Five Nights at Freddy's. Text on image: "THE ANIMATRONICS BE LIKE WHEN YOU ABOUT TO GET JUMP SCARED."

Egyptian

A close-up shot of a person's face looking confused, with a statue of an Egyptian figure in the background. Overlay text says 'imagine getting jumped by sum egyptians and one of em says' followed by a line of Egyptian hieroglyphs. There is also a small watermark in the bottom right corner.

Story

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Voice

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Fan

HK fans get only

A two-panel cartoon shows a yoga instructor and a student. The instructor is a tall, black-and-white, bug-like creature with long arms, sitting cross-legged on a colored mat. The student is a shorter, similar creature. A speech bubble above them reads "...and release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind..." The second panel shows the student releasing loud, dark, chaotic energy.

Door

The image shows a four-panel grid of a small child running and making faces. The first two panels show the child running. The bottom two panels show the child's face getting increasingly annoyed. The text on top reads "how i feel when i gotta get up and close the door after someone left it open".

Stuff

lol

The image shows a man with disheveled hair smiling. The text reads "Don't worry about getting older. You're still gonna do dumb stuff, only slower."

Truck

Laugh

The image shows a picture of a Kermit the Frog doll lying on a bed with a breathing mask on its face. The text above the picture reads, "Me after laughing at my own jokes." Below the image, the text says, "me before I even get the joke out."

Tinder

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message reads, "Why you using tinder?" The second message reads, "My boyfriend died last year so I'm just trying to get back in the dating scene really :)" The third message reads, "Damn thats sad." The fourth message reads, "On our first date we should use a ouija board to get his permission to smash." The final message reads, "What the fuck is wrong with you."

Sonic

A text message conversation shows the question "What's wrong?" with the answer "Whenever Sonic beats Eggman in the final level, Eggman always outruns him and gets to his giant robot before Sonic catches him, beating Sonic's average running speed of 767.269 miles per hour which is the speed of sound. This means that Dr Eggman is actually the fastest thing alive." followed by the reply "nothing". The message is shown on a white background with a phone keyboard shown at the bottom.

New York

A weather map showing a storm system resembling a phallic shape pointing toward the Carolinas. Text on the image includes “Looks like the Carolinas are going to get pounded....” along with labeled locations: “New York”, “Washington”, “Raleigh”, and “cksonville”.

Pronoun

What have we humans come to?

The image contains a list of pronouns with the title "Full list of pronouns!!". It is also mentioned that the person has lost access to their other account, and this account is temporary. The list of pronouns includes: They/them/theirs/themself, He/him/his/himself, Star/stars/starself, Xey/xem/xyr/xemself, Ze/zem/zyr/zemself, It/its/itself, Bun/buns/bunself, Dragon/dragons/dragonself, Scale/scales/scaleself, Fire/fires/fireself, Wing/wings/wingself, Hoard/hoards/hoardself, Tal/talon/talons/talonself, Fla/flame/flames/flameself, Fla/Flap/flaps/flapself, My/myth/myths/mythself. Additionally, there are emojis, mostly suns, aliens, rabbits, and fire, interspersed with the text.

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