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Funeral

262 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a social media post featuring a video game landscape with text overlay that reads: "Yo bro no disrespect but if you go to my funeral I ain't going to yours". Below the video, the comment section is visible, showing a user named johnny asking "why" and another user named reapingraq pointing out that someone actually asked why.

Wednesday

37 views · NumberNull · 4 months ago

W E D N E S D A Y

A small, round, light-colored frog sits on a white background. Above the frog, the text reads: "It is Wednesday," and below it, the text reads: "my dudes."

Hand

316 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a pink-shirted man tells a blue-hoodie man, "Oh, I don't shake hands. I'm a germaphobe." In the second panel, the pink-shirted man asks, "How 'bout a fist-bump!" as they perform a fist-bump. In the third panel, a green-shirted man approaches the blue-hoodie man, who is walking away, and asks, "Dude! Was that anal-fisting-porn-star legend, Johnny Shit-Knuckles?!" The pink-shirted man looks on in surprise. In the fourth panel, the pink-shirted man has a look of extreme horror and disgust, realizing who he just fist-bumped.

Pringles

42 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

The image shows a nighttime street scene with a sidewalk, houses, and parked cars under a street light. A person is holding a red Pringles can in the foreground. Overlaid text reads: "Some random homeless dude said if I eat his ass he'll give me Pringles. Be safe out there." Below the text, a praying hands emoji is visible. The TikTok handle "@scottmesiduc" is in the bottom right corner.

Shirt

25 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A two-panel comic strip. The top panel shows two men talking. The man on the left, bald and wearing an orange shirt, looks shocked and asks the man on the right, wearing a white t-shirt, 'Dude, How are you STILL wearing that shirt?!' The bottom panel is a close-up of the white t-shirt. The shirt has '9/11?' printed at the top left. To the right are illustrations of the Twin Towers with blood running down them. To the left is an illustration of Garfield the cat drawn like an airplane flying towards the towers. Below Garfield, the text reads: 'Yeah! I'll take 911 orders of Lasagna!'

Drunk

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A man is looking at his phone. The text says: "Dude, you're drunk, you can barely walk." Yeah no shit, that's why I'm gonna drive home, dumbass.

Exclamation

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Portal

21 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Image shows Sonic the Hedgehog smiling and pointing, emerging from a noose. A speech bubble says: "Hey! C'mon, dude! Portal's this way!"

Fade

4 views · Glassiiewxter · 1 year ago

Low taper fade

A black and white image of a man, presumably Ninja, with text that reads, "Settle down, what is wrong? This dude shop single. The streets Justin wants his fade checked."

Murder

17 views · Swf · 1 year ago

A four-panel comic strip. Panel one: A small character sits next to a large, muscular character in a prison cell. Both characters wear orange jumpsuits. Panel two: The small character, labeled 'THAT ONE FURRY HATER,' says, 'I asked the president to make it legal to murder furries.' Panel three: The large character reacts in shock. Panel four: The large character, labeled 'PEOPLE WITH A MORAL COMPASS,' shouts 'DUDE, WTF?!'

Accident

40 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

Man

92 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is a four panel comic. In the first panel, an ant is shown happily eating a crumb, thinking "Man, these are the best crumbs I've ever had!!" In the second panel, a man looks shocked, exclaiming "Ayoo dude no wayy!!" In the third panel, the man is holding up a sock with white fluid on it, saying, "I thought I lost this cum sock ages ago!!" The fourth panel shows a close-up of the ant, now with a disgusted expression.

Ball

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An ant is standing next to a bottle of antacid tablets. A speech bubble above the ant says, "Fuck dude, I'm tripping balls."

Walmart

27 views · ✨Jassy✨ · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One message says, "Come on, I wasn't THAT drunk was I?" The other says, "Dude, in WalMart when the intercom thing came on you dropped to your knees and screamed, 'THE LORD HAS SPOKEN!'" The first person then replies, "...Awesome"

Rapper

26 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit thread. The question is "Which rapper's age surprises you the most?" The first commenter states "Pac and Big being 25 and 24 at their death always tripped me out, they looked and sounded way older imo." A second commenter replies "Crazy that biggie sounded like that at 24/25. Dude sounded like a 40 year old man." A third commenter chimes in "that's probably because he was fat asf."

Panda

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A tweet shows the announcement that "Kung Fu Panda 4" crossed $480M at the worldwide box office, after which the tweeter comments on the next frame from the movie, in which the main character, Po the panda, looks completely shocked.

Girl

13 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message conversation with a dark background. In the first message, a sender states, "Girl, you're really pretty!" The recipient replies, "Thanks, but I'm a dude." The sender then says, "Oh, you look like a girl. You trans?" The recipient responds, "No, I just have long hair." The sender replies with insults. There are emojis included.

Bookmark

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A rotisserie chicken is placed on the pages of an open book. The text overlay reads: "Didn't have a bookmark. Just using a rotisserie chicken instead. Dude wth is wrong with you. You can't even close the book, how is that a bookmark? Can't knock it till you try it."

Math test

35 views · Wade · 2 years ago

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

Apartment

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A stack of Monster energy drink cans are piled up like a tower on a table. To the right is a large Monster energy drink poster. The text on the image reads, "How dudes named Kyle decorate their apartment."

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