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Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
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Weed

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tumblr post showing three separate comments. The first post says "Learned today that my ex-husband buys his weed from a lesbian dominatrix that banned him from DJing at her sex club because he kept playing his version of 'Lean on Me' made entirely of samples of Homer saying 'd'oh'." The second comment says "AMAZING". The third comment says "Every word in that sentence is better than the last".

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A photo of a small orange kitten sitting in a plastic shopping bag filled with other groceries. The text on the image says: "I don't remember buying this at the store."

Food

Shitpost master-general · 10 months ago

An animated image depicts an elderly woman with white hair and glasses, wearing a blue dress, sitting in a large green armchair. She is casually tossing bundles of green money from a basket labeled "MONEY TO BURN" into a fireplace. Above the scene, the text reads "Buying food".

Cocaine

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Ernie looks surprised at a rectangular package while Bert stands next to him. The text says: "Ernie is astonished at the size of the brick of cocaine Bert managed to buy with this month's rent money."

Game

Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

You should buy this game now.

The image shows a Connect Four game box with the text "Connect Four The Original Vertical In-a-Row Checkers Game". The game board has been filled with the cartoon character four. Several additional fours are scattered across the game board, table, and in the air.

Guy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a side-by-side comparison of two fluffy white animals. The left side shows a fluffy white poodle, the right side shows a larger, seemingly muscular white ferret. Below are the words: "Guy Tries to Buy Toy Poodles, Gets Fluffy, Steroid-Pumped Giant Ferrets Instead". Above the animals a news ticker reads "NUEVA MODALIDAD DE ESTAFA" and "CANICHE TOY O HURON?"

Sigma

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a Google search page for "sigma". The results are encircled and connected by lines to multiple images of Patrick Bateman.

Condom

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a meme with text at the top and a picture of a man looking bewildered at the bottom. The text reads: "Mom: 'Your sister is turning nine, buy a candle with the number on it.' Gf: 'Buy some condoms.' The cashier when I get to the counter:"

Valentine's Day

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic showing how to celebrate Valentine's Day. The first panel shows a box of chocolates with the text "BUY CHOCOLATES." The second panel shows a teddy bear with the text "BUY A CUTE TEDDY BEAR." The third panel shows scented candles with the text "BUY SCENTED CANDLES." The fourth panel shows a bottle of wine and a wine glass with the text "BUY A BOTTLE OF GOOD WINE." Below these panels, there's an additional panel that shows a person in bed with the teddy bear, a spilled bottle of wine and an extinguished candle.

Cat

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

awww

A cat is looking forward, holding a leaf in its mouth. Text on the image reads: She was constantly staying near the fish market and watching people come to buy fish. She took a leaf that fell from the tree and came to the owner. On the first day, surprised, he took her "money" and gave her a fish. From that day on, every morning she comes with a leaf to "buy" fish.

Quarantine

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Me during quarantine

A person is shown in two scenarios. First, text saying, "I'm not going to buy dumb things from Amazon anymore, just because I'm bored." Second, a person with a pink bonnet and a hair dryer attached to it is pictured.

Single

✨Jassy✨ · 3 years ago

Period

The image shows a text overlay: "I'm not really single. I'm dating myself. I take myself out to eat. I buy myself clothes. I love me. I'm awesome." Below this text, the image shows Mr. Bean on a beach with his arms outstretched.

Bionicle

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

A Bionicle figure is standing between two Yeezy Foam Runners. Above the Bionicle is the text: "Hypebeasts out here buying Yeezy Foam Runners for $500 and they roast the one kid who was deep into Bionicle lore since day 1."

Toy

LoserIsPro · 3 years ago

me 7 yr ago

A purple cartoon figure with an angry expression is on a red background. Text above the figure reads, "3 YEAR OLD ME WHEN MOM DOESN'T BUY ME A TOY". Text below the figure reads, "I. Am next level. Mad."

Game

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a 4chan post. The post text describes how someone pirates a game, buys the company, deletes the pirated copies, and becomes CEO of the company to make his dream game. A Pepe the Frog smugly sips from a glass on the left.

Buy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Mr Krabs

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme consists of four panels. In the first panel, Mr. Krabs has a standard appearance and is speaking to Squidward. The text reads, "Look Mr. Squidward! I Paid Plankton to give me Hormonal Treatment!" In the second panel, Mr. Krabs has large breasts and is speaking. The text reads, "Now I don't need to buy food!! I can just live off mi own Milk!!" In the third panel, Mr. Krabs is slurping milk from his own breast. The text reads, "MMMMM MMMM 'Slurrpp' T...Tastes like Crab, Mhmm." In the fourth panel, Squidward looks disgusted.

Neighbor

MK · 3 years ago

Me when my neighbor buys a new Bugatti.

A picture of a Wojak character wearing a black beanie and hoodie, with a cigarette in his mouth. The background is a dark blue with rain drops.

Plush

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A photo shows a grey F-35 fighter jet plush toy sitting on a white surface. Text overlay says "Buy f-35 plush". Below the image is a screenshot of a TikTok comment section showing a single comment from a user: "Does it have hole on the rear? like engine?"

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