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Dad

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An anonymous 4chan post from January 13, 2021, at 09:59:24 with the number 844740211. The post consists of a green text story:
"masturbating in bedroom", "about to cum", "dad comes running in naked screaming", "and here comes dad from left field!!", "he does a running jump", "lands asshole first on my dick", "penetration.png", "cum", "mfw he laughs and calls me a faggot for cuming in another guy". The post ends with "EVERY FUCKING TIME". To the left of the text is a drawing of Wojak pointing a gun at his head.

Double Entendre

what’s dudeese · 3 months ago

Sequence

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A February calendar grid titled "Fibonacci Fap February". Instead of standard dates, the large numbers in each cell follow the Fibonacci sequence (where each number is the sum of the two preceding ones), starting with 1 on February 1st and ending with 317,811 on February 28th.

Stock

Wade · 2 years ago

Stonks

A photo of Dwayne Johnson's face is superimposed over a stock chart. The text on top of the image reads: "My brain at 3am: Dwayne the 'stock' Johnson". The background contains numbers and graphs.

Age

Big Jim · 10 months ago

It took me a second to realize

A serious-looking man with a beard, identified as Gustavo Fring, wearing a light-colored suit jacket, a red shirt, and a red tie, stands in front of a dark blue background. To his right, white text in a blocky font outlines a simple mathematical sequence: "take your age add 21 subtract 11 subtract 10 that's your age".

Male

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a screenshot of a 4chan conversation with two photos attached. The first photo shows a very simple, mostly white bedroom with a bed, a ceiling fan, and a window. The second photo shows a bedroom with a wooden nightstand next to a bed, a green lamp, a bottle of beer, and a pizza box on the nightstand. The text above the photos reads: "Do males really live like this?" The subsequent messages are "yeah although I put a cool t-rex lamp next to my bed", "that's fucking sick dude" and "based t-rex chad"

Money

ur mommy · 3 years ago

im rich im in the e+

Pilot

Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image is divided into two sections. The left side is labeled "21 Pilots" and features four different images of the band Twenty One Pilots. The right side is labeled "2001 Pilots" and shows the World Trade Center on fire after the 9/11 attacks.

Billboard

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two adjacent billboards. The one on the left advertises "Huggies" diapers and features a baby swinging down. The billboard on the right advertises the movie "Hitman" with an image of a man pointing a gun. The text on the billboard says: "Hitman. In Theaters Nov 21." Below these two big billboards there is also a smaller billboard for "West Side Auto Clinic" that says: "Cars Repaired".

Life

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a social media post where a user shares the tragic news of their 21-year-old nephew's suicide. Another user replies by comparing the situation to the anime "Yu Yu Hakusho." The original poster then criticizes the insensitivity of the response.

Hitler

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Guy

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 2 years ago

chat i found me.

A man is smiling with his eyes half closed. He has a beard and cartoonish cat ears and hearts drawn on the picture. The text on the image says: "Getting Rejected from Art School"

Album

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Twitter conversation. The initial tweet from @OvOBrezzzy expresses extreme positive sentiment about a new Drake and 21 Savage album using vulgar and sexual language: 'Drake and 21 put both of they meat in my ears and nutted at once with this new album 🤤🤤🤤🔥🔥🔥'. A user named peazy replies, criticizing the phrasing with 'just say the album good nigga wtf', accompanied by a reaction image of a character looking disgusted from an animated movie.

Roblox

DAP ME UP · 1 year ago

UMM ??? AGREEABLE MUCH.

A screenshot of a Twitter conversation. Charli D'Amelio states "Roblox is trash, I like Fortnite better". The official Roblox account replies "I don't care, Fortnite doesn't want you anyways too..." and someone else says "I couldn't agree more with Roblox. Girl thought she is important".

Nerd

Anonymous · 2 years ago

$A tweet that reads: "imagine you getting jumped by a bunch of nerds and they say 'split that mf into fractions' with a skull emoji at the end.$

Sex

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a tweet that reads "stop being horny. find jesus @stopthehorny. I am CRYING because people have sex. Please stop." The tweet was posted on April 4, 2021, at 6:02 PM via Twitter for iPhone. It has 737 retweets, 49 quote tweets, and 2,557 likes.

Smoking

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘 · 3 years ago

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Age

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows a text message exchange between two people labeled "ME" and "DAKOTA." Dakota repeatedly asks ME how old they are and whether they are 18 or older. ME responds only by saying they are 10, despite Dakota's attempts to clarify.

Question

✨Jassy✨ · 2 years ago

Send the numbers and i will answer honestly

A black and white image titled "ASK THE ADMIN" with the Instagram handle "IN.LOVE.WITH.BOOKSLIG" below it, followed by a list of 50 questions. Each question is numbered. There are heart symbols at the top corners of the image.

Trailer

Wade · 2 years ago

Matpat in a nutshell

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