Medical treatment jokes

What is the most expensive haircut? Chemotherapy.

Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

What’s the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

How do you cure a ginger?

Chemotherapy.

What's long and not very hairy?

The conga line at the cancer department.

What's the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

Want one way to get a free haircut?

Call the cancer hotline.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

I have an EpiPen.

My friend gave it to me when he was dying.

It seemed really important to him that I have it.

A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Depression medicine and therapy.

GO AWAY!