Martial Artist Jokes

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.

The Lego broke in half.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.

Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

What do you call a pig who does karate?

Pork chop!

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.