Lightening jokes

My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...

...I told him to lighten up.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Have you ever tried anal bleaching?

It really helps assholes lighten up.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.