I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.
Light Jokes
Why did the T-Rex 🦖 get a ticket?
He ran at a stomp light!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
And walk, walk home, and...
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
