LCD jokes

I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

Hate when my phone dies instead of me :))

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.