I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on tickingTM.
The Timex Surprise
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, smooth-brain. The guy wanted to be a creep and 'watch' them, but they outsmarted him with a pun. They gave him a wristwatch and quoted the Timex slogan. 'Licking' means two different things here, but I bet you still can't tell time on an analog clock. Stay based.
Jagged Zonkey
Why is the ™ symbol being mangled?