Misdirected Affection

Alright listen up, buttercup. So, you know how sometimes when people are tryna be romantic, they blow a kiss? Well, this ain't it. It's like the person blew a kiss so hard it ended up... well, somewhere it shouldn't. And "your eyes where bright up your ass"? Dude, that doesn't even make sense. Honestly, you probably fail at chess and can't hold a spoon right.