Irrigation jokes

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.

A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"

Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.