Immobility jokes

Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?

A: Right where you left 'em.

What's big, round, and can't move?

A vegetable!

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

I used to get pushed and called lazy in school.

Man, I loved that wheelchair.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.