How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on haw hard you throw them.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?
It's ok, he didn't either!
How did the computer get out of the house?
He used windows.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Puns, that's how I roll.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
