Howe jokes
How do you know when German people break into your house? When you can not find your bed.
How is a child with cancer and dark humor similar? They never get old.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
How much cum does a gay guy have?
An ass loaded.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!
I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
A teacher asks a boy in her class, "If 3 birds are sitting on a fence, and one is shot, how many are left?" The boy responds with, "None." The teacher asks why. "They would all fly away after hearing the gunshot." The teacher says, "The answer is 2, but I like the way you think."
Later, the boy asks the teacher, "3 women walk out of an ice cream shop. One is eating with a spoon, one is licking it, and one is sucking it. Which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking it." The boy says, "No, the one wearing the ring, but I like the way you think."
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
How do you get 1 million followers:
{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }
🌍: You're so hot!
🌎: How are you single?
☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
How hard can you throw them!
Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.