Horoscope jokes

I walked into the doctor's surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." I said, "Capricorn." He said, "Nah, you got cancer."

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.

Mooning is very astrological!

What zodiac sign has no hair?

Cancer.

All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."

So I said, "Aquarius."

And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"

Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."

Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

What is the richest planet?

Saturn 🪐- It has many rings.