We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor. Lol.
HI Jokes
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn’t wearing his seat belt.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
