Hes

Hes jokes

Orphan

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

Wing

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

Kidnapper

Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?

Dad: He had a nap.

Kid: Where is he now?

Dad: HELL!

Memes

Fish

Why did the fish go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling “eel.”

Orphan

What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?

The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"

Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"

Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.

This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)

Skeleton

Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?

He didn't have the heart to put into it.

Butter

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

Child

My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"

Dam

What did the fish say when he got to the dam?

"Dam water."

"Dam!"

Skeleton

A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.

I had to fix his collarbone.

House

MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

MAN 2) No.

MAN 1) Neither did he.

Butter

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Grape

What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.