Hes

Hes jokes

Devil

What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?

When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.

Sonic

What color is Sonic's ball?

Blue because he keeps getting rejected.

Homeless Kid

When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."

Mama

Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

Memes

Jew

A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”

Teacher

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Vegetable

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

People

Why are skinny people skinny?

Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.

Santa

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

Stephen Hawking

"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"

Basement

My brother got his legs chopped off, but someone FBI opened my basement door, but it wasn't my brother because he died of starvation in the basement.

Cat

I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.

Orphan

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")