Hes jokes
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.
Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Memes
The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because he looked like me.
Sans: Sure.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
He had nobody to go with.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.