Hes jokes

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

Where does Hitler look first when he loses something? The attic.

Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he’s dead.

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

Oh wait.

You fool!

I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked my mom.

What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?

Ooh, snickerdoodles!

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.