Hes

Hes jokes

Chicken

Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Person: Why?

Me: Because he wanted to.

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  • Rape

    Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

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  • Family Reunion

    A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

    He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

    Sample

    Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

    He was stealing all the samples.

    Punishment

    What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

    Hitler

    I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

    Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

    Sandpaper

    I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.

    Orphan

    The orphan asked a genie to become Batman. Then he went home and saw his parents dead.

    Emo kid

    Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

    Hitler

    Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

    Orphanage

    What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?

    Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.

    Orphan

    I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

    Orphan

    Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

    Fire

    Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

    Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.