Hes jokes

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Did you know about the guy who invented knock knock jokes?

He won the no-Bell prize.

How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?

He pressed the red button.

I know an orphan named Zara, and he has never had homemade food.

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"

What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?

God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.

If I flip off an Asian person, he can't see it.

When the person who killed JFK heard "headshot."

When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."

When the South Tower saw the North Tower collapse, he said, "I'm still standing."

Jeffrey Dahmer likes his men how he likes his coffee: black and ground up.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?

He didn't give me any.

I was made by the Devil.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)