Hes jokes
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?"
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.