Hes jokes
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
Why did he not love anymore? His battery died.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.