Hes Jokes

Stephen Hawking couldn't take the stairway to Heaven, he had to take the lift.

A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."

His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."

He says, "I was talking to the sheep."

Why was the chef embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

"SUPPLIES!"

He couldn't take the stairway to heaven; he had to take the lift.

Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?

Because he couldn’t go up the stairs to heaven.

Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.

Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Looks like he never charged up fully.

Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Why did he die?

Because God made a mistake and pressed Ctrl+Z.

For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?

He blacks out.

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?

Nothing... she couldn't tell.

What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?

"ERROR"

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

It's weird how Stephen Hawking's last name sounds like "walking and talking," but he could not do either of those!

If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.