My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
Hes Jokes
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
What was Stephen Hawking's name before he got his disease?
Stephen Walkins.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
