What did the explorer say when he got tired?
I'm gonna take a map.
Hes Jokes
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribble.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Why did he die so soon? Oh, I know, he forgot to plug in his charger!
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home.
As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump's wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie.
As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him. The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him, and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him.
Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn't really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump's friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump's friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, "Aww, I'm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!"
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
Why did he not love anymore? His battery died.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
