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Hes

Hes jokes

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.

My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"

He didn't realize what was about to happen.

"That's what she said!"

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.

What is a pirate's favorite letter?

A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.

  • 2

    • My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.

  • 5

    • What happened when Obama ran for president?

    The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

    Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...

    I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.

    A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"

    So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”