Hes jokes
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?
Because he thought that she would leave him too.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To show he wasn't a chicken.
Why did Steward die in the toilet?
He saw his Undercut in the mirror.
Why did the mushroom go to the party??
Because he was a fungi!