Hes jokes
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football? Because he got all the downs.
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
My friend asked me how fast my humor was, and I said it jumps borders. Then he asked how dark my humor is, and I said it picks cotton.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
Why are Deepika Amar's jokes so shit?
Because he is a smelly cunt.
One of the reasons the skeleton was not allowed to play church music is because he had no organs.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.