Hes jokes
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."