I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
Hes Jokes
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
He had no body to go with. XD
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
His boss gave him some projects to work on, but he failed at it.
His boss told him: "You suck."
And he started sucking his boss, after he was done.
His boss told him: "You suck for life!"
XD
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.
A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
