What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Hes Jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
