Hes Jokes

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he had no body to go with!

My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.

What happened when the American broke his arm?

He went broke.

Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.

How does Moses make his cup of tea?

He brews it.

Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.

Bring a knife into the shower. NEVER gonna see that coming! He pulls the curtain like ‘re re‘ and you're like ‘re re’ yourself, motherfucker, and stab him right in the eye! You thought the psycho was out there? SURPRISE, the psycho’s IN HERE with the Irish Spring on them!

What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?

"That is bull crap!"

What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"

The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."

The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."

Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?

FNAF Sister Location.

He's dead.

Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So he gets to call someone father.

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

Why can't the skeleton go to the prom?

Because he had no-BODY to go with!

He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.

She: Why?

He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)