Hes jokes
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I know a pedophile,
And he says he knows you.
There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "Here you go!"
So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!
What do you call a Roman with a pubic hair in his teeth?
Glad He Ate Her.
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!