Hes jokes
Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.
A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.
First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.
It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."
He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.
She walks away and says ok.
The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What did the knight say when he went to bed?
"Good Knight!" lul
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Q: Why did Billy drop his ice cream cone?
A: He has turrets.
Why did the blind kid drop his ice cream? He got run over by his mom.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.