Hes jokes
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
I was asking people who knew Trump if he would win a second term. Stormy said, "No way, he doesn't have two in him!"