Hes

Hes jokes

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.

  • 6

    • What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

    "It won't be long now..."

    What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

    Cassie.

    Get it?

    My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.

    Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

    I'm in school lol.

    Stephen Hawking isn't dead; his update is just laggy because he is too far from the WiFi box.

    A Mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car, and the passenger asked, "Where are we going?"

    The Mexican says, "I'm not driving, the drunk guy is."

    A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

    There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

    A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.

    He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.

    What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

    He was toad away.

    Get it?

    RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!

    Richard: What????

    Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."

    Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.

    Rick: Oh I will.

    *It was the day March 21st*

    *9 Days later*

    *March 31st*

    Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man

    *one day later*

    *He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*

    Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up

    BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS

    *Richard*

    *oh he's the dumbass*

    Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

    Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

    Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

    Mom: Okay......

    Dad: He's grounded.

    Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

    Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

    Mom: Soon honey, soon....

    Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.