My girl ask me have i seen a gorilla anywhere i told yes i did see one a minute ago at the central park zoo he said if you don't behave he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abanded for good.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
What did the dog say when he got it's tail caught in the door?
It won't be long now...
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
Why did the orphan commit suicide?
So he could find home.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
im in school lol
Yo daddy so stupid, he went to the HO-tel to see some hoes.
I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)
stephen hawkng isnt dead his update is just laggy because he is too far from the wifi box
a mexican is drunk and he has a passenger in the car and passenger asked where are we going and the mexican says im not driving the drunk guy
A guy walks into a bar hes like whats your number lad and the women be like 298 777 fatso.com and he walked home depressed
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
my dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is
why was 10 scared?because he was in the middle of 9/11
So my dad said to me and my sister, "Don't fight," but did he mean "fist fight" or "yelling fight?"
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
