New Hes Jokes - Page 140 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

Because he wanted to be wanted.

If your dad said, "Take out the trash," he means to take you out.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?

He made a hit and run!

Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."

Hi, I'm Claire. I am new to this website. I have been seeing these "Legends," and I've been tracking one specifically, watersharky. I have questions about him. Is he nice, protective, single? If anyone has any more information about him, please tell me.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he doesn't have parents.

Why did the sheep die? Cos he wasn’t pretty enough.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

In case he gets a hole in one!

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, "No".

Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He asks, "Do you know what I think?"

His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?"

He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

How come I have a father but not a dad?

He was a priest.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).